Atypical Chivalry
by Thalia Kendall
Summary: A small vignette written in answer to a challenge: Throw young Malfoys and a young Longbottom together, and chaos ensues. One-Shot.


A/N: This was written (quite belatedly) in answer to a challenge-of-sorts that any sort of vignette with children of canon characters must be Mary Sueish. Of course I couldn¡¯t back down ;)

Disclaimer: Whatever you recognize is probably not mine. Although random gratuitous snark seems to have become a trademark of my writing. 

~*~

"YOU PRATS YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW SO I CAN SMACK YOU!" An indignant, childish shriek sounded from the depths of the extensive gardens surrounding the Longbottom-Parkinson estate, followed by the sounds of fleeing footsteps and raucous laughter. Two boys, wearing identical blue outfits and psuedo-angelic grins, were running out of the garden towards the closed French doors of the house. The two twelve-year-old boys grinned at each other, and disappeared into the house even as a small ten-year-old girl, her cheeks crimsoned with fury and her formerly neat, straight dark-blonde hair in a style vaguely reminiscent of a bird's nest, reached the doors herself, her hands balled into fists.  
  
Addy Longbottom paused, and glared at her dishevelled reflection in the glass of the door. The Malfoys had come with their parents, and apparently _their_ parents and _her_ parents and even Great-Gran Longbottom must have been collectively put under spells, because they had allowed the twins to roam about the grounds without tracing spells, wards and leashes.  
  
Not fifteen minutes after they'd entered the gardens, they had _somehow_ managed to drop a burr right into her hair, which Addy had always considered her best feature.   
  
They would, of course, have to be punished severely. And she would, of course, hate them forever and ever and never invite them to tea parties and remember to stick her tongue out at them behind her parents' (and Great-Gran Longbottom's) backs.   
  
Now that _that_ was settled, Addy thought as she gave a dramatic sort of sigh, she just had to restore order to her poor, abused hair.  
  
~*~  
  
Addy discovered, much to her chagrin, that her troubles were not over when she entered the drawing room, her hair somewhat restored to order. The Malfoys were nowhere to be seen, for which she supposed she might be grateful, but in their place, wearing impeccably, terribly fashionable robes in a pink hue that set her teeth on edge, was Madolyn Greengrass-Corner, sitting indolently and demurely at the table where Great-Gran Longbottom was holding court. Addy's mum was sitting next to Great-Gran, and on Great-Gran's other side sat Madolyn's mother. Daphne Greengrass-Corner, like her daughter, wore robes that were the last word of fashion, though hers were mauve.  
  
There wasn't any way to get out of this, though, especially when Great-Gran waved a hand at her. Gritting her teeth behind a bright, pasted smile, Addy went to join them for tea.  
  
"Why, if it isn't little Adrienne," Mrs. Corner drawled, reaching out to pat Addy's head with a long-nailed hand. "She's grown, Pansy darling. Such a plump and pleasing figure."  
  
Addy's hands tightened on her teacup, and it took every bit of self-control for her to refrain from snapping at the woman that her name was _not_ "Adrienne". And Mrs. Corner need not describe her as some sort of stuffed dumpling, either!  
  
Pansy gave a slightly brittle laugh. "For your sake, Daphne _darling_, I'll consider that remark a compliment. Won't you and your daughter please have some tea?"  
  
"Yes, please," Daphne replied airily, "One sugar, no cream for me."  
  
As Pansy poured the tea, Madolyn Corner turned towards Addy with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Giving the blonde girl an insolent look, she whispered, "You should try curling your hair sometime. Who knows, it might even make you appear somewhat ladylike to the indiscerning masses."  
  
Baring her teeth slightly over her teacup, Addy gave Madolyn a cold smile of her own. "Thank you for the advice," she said sweetly. "I suppose it's only fair for me to compliment you on your dress."  
  
"Why thank you," Madolyn, if she had noticed the note of sarcasm in Addy's voice, didn't remark upon it. "Pink is very fashionable these days."  
  
"That precise shade of it is darling," Addy said in a voice as syrupy as Madolyn's own, "Last time I saw it, I believe it was being poured out of a bottle of Muggle diarrhea remedy."  
  
Madolyn's polished demeanor cracked slightly, two white spots appearing by her nostrils. Lowering her voice so that the adults couldn't hear, she hissed, "It figures that _you_ would know about the Muggles, what with your mum leaving _our_ world to marry that blood traitor Gryff."  
  
Addy stiffened, her thoughts racing even as her hands twisted and wrung the napkin in her lap. She knew... she _knew_ there was no way to retaliate that wouldn't draw the attention of the adults. She knew that they didn't hear, and tempting though the thought was to spill her hot tea down the self-satisfied, vile little twit's heinously pink dress, it would only cause trouble for herself. So absorbed in these highly displeasing thoughts, she almost leapt out of her seat in surprise when two identical blond individuals joined their table, one sitting next to her, the other next to Madolyn. Holy Eyeballs of Merlin! She didn't even notice the Malfoy twins approach!  
  
Obviously, the adults had, though. Her mum was already pouring tea for Devin, and Darius' eyes were shifting from her face to Madolyn's. Addy scowled, and wondered if she could get away with kicking his shins under the table for the burr earlier.  
  
Darius turned his eyes towards his twin at that moment, and Devin cleared his throat and tapped Addy on the shoulder, the motion also attracting the attention of Madolyn. Giving a charming smile to both girls, Devin remarked, "Have you ever heard of the joke about the man who was sentenced to the Dementor's Kiss?"  
  
Madolyn gave the boy a simpering smile, turning her full attention towards him. "No, go on."  
  
Devin acquiesced, leaning back in his chair. "See, he was asked if he wanted a special last meal, or something of the sort, the morning that his sentencing was supposed to be carried out..."  
  
Addy found herself somewhat interested and listening avidly, and Madolyn was hanging on Devin's every word. The boy continued, "He replied that no, he didn't wish for a special meal, but that during his life, his greatest love was music. He had always wanted to be a singer, and he wished to be allowed to sing one last song, without interruptions, before he received The Kiss. They granted his request, and he started to sing."  
  
The two girls waited for the punchline, and Devin glanced out of the corner of his eye at his twin before finishing his joke. "The song he chose... 'One trillion bottles of butterbeer on the wall!'"  
  
Addy's lips quirked into a grin, and Madolyn broke into gales of tinkling, calculatingly sugary laughter. "That's _so funny!_" she declared, reaching for her tea.  
  
Nothing happened immediately as she took a sip, though the twins seemed to be watching her fixedly. Addy was just starting to be suspicious when Madolyn frowned, and discreetly reached her hand behind her back to scratch her neck.   
  
A discreet scratch of her neck somehow turned into frantic, quite open scratching all over her back. It was as though the girl suddenly become covered with invisible mosquito bites. Madolyn fidgetted in her seat, and suddenly bounced up like a spring, her eyes wide and giddy, still scratching her skin even as she started pacing back and forth around the room with the speed and frenetic energy more pronounced than Colin Creevey at his most hyperactive. The adults looked up at the usually-demure girl, Madolyn's mother giving a little gasp of disapproving horror.  
  
Addy wasn't quite sure what was going on, but her lips were twitching in an effort to keep the laughter in. Pansy stood up and walked towards the girl, her arms crossed over her chest. "Are you all right, Miss Corner?"  
  
"Fine fine fine! I'm just perfectly dandy!" Madolyn's voice was a squirrel-like chirp. "I think I want to _flyyyyyyy!_"  
  
"MADOLYN!" Her mother gasped, as Great-Gran Longbottom stared in disapproval at the girl, "Whatever has gotten into you?!"  
  
Madolyn was a bit beyond replying, her movements now resembling a very demented dance more than anything. Pansy took swift control of the situation, and snapped her fingers for the House Elves.  
  
"Binky, take Miss Corner into a guest chamber and feed her a tranquilizing potion," The mistress of the house commanded in clipped tones. "There is nothing to be had over here. Whatever her affliction is, she'd best recover somewhere else."  
  
"That won't be necessary, Pansy darling," Daphne stood up, tight-lipped. "I'll take my leave, and will sort out whatever's the matter with my daughter when we get home."  
  
Pansy turned towards her former roommate, a saccharine smile over her features, "Well, if that's what you wish. I am utterly sorry that your daughter suddenly feels unwell."  
  
"I have no idea the cause," Daphne declared, a deep furrow between her perfectly plucked brows. "My daughter is usually a little angel of good behaviour and decorum."  
  
"I'm sure," Pansy drawled slowly. "Shall I see you two out?"  
  
"That won't be necessary, but thank you for the offer." Standing, the woman stalked determinedly over towards her daughter, who was now hopping around in a more-than-decent imitation of a kangaroo in a silk dress.   
  
"Have a good afternoon, Mrs. Corner," the Malfoy twins chorused in unison, their voices the very soul of beatific courtesy.   
  
"Thank you," Daphne ducked her own daughter's flailing arms, grabbed Madolyn by the hand, and steered her out of the room. As the House Elf shut the door behind their retreating figures, Pansy turned towards the boys with a smirk.  
  
"All right, lads. What did you do?"  
  
"Nothing," Devin and Darius said at once. Pansy gave a sound between a snort and a laugh.  
  
"I am best friends with your father, and have known your mum since she started Hogwarts. Don't insult my intelligence."  
  
"We were merely defending a lady's honour," Devin declared, nodding at a somewhat flabbergasted Addy, "and behaving in a manner suitable for dignified young gentleman such as ourselves."  
  
"I suppose doing something to cause Miss Corner to act as though she had a nest of ants crawling inside her dress is the epitome of propriety these days?" Pansy asked serenely, raising an eyebrow, "Funny, I must be getting behind on times. I _should_ be letting your mother know of this."  
  
"Mum wouldn't say anything if she knew the true story, and we promise not to play that trick again," Darius said earnestly. Of course, that didn't mean that they wouldn't be playing any number of _other_ tricks.  
  
Pansy chuckled wryly. "Very well. DO keep yourselves out of unnecessary trouble, boys." She turned towards her daughter with a smile, "Addy, why don't you show them the Quidditch pitch outside? Mummy will have a bit of a chat with Great-Gran."  
  
"Yes, mummy," Addy said softly, before glancing warily at the twins. "Come on, then."  
  
The twins followed, still wearing identical innocent expressions. All three children left the drawing room, and Addy led the way outside.  
  
As soon as she felt grass under her feet, she turned around and stared at the boys. "What _did_ you do?"  
  
"Put a little something in her drink that we wanted to test out," Devin replied easily, grinning at her.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"She was being mean," Darius replied, "and you have to admit that it was fun. Did you _see_ how she was jumping about?! Plus, Dad would be highly incensed if someone were insulting his goddaughter and we did nothing about it."  
  
Addy felt herself smiling reluctantly. Maybe the severe punishments for them would have to wait a day or two, and perhaps then, it would have to be changed from instantaneous death to slaps on the wrist. "All right... one thing, though."  
  
"Yes?" the twins both stared at her.  
  
"NO MORE BURRS OR ANYTHING ELSE IN MY HAIR!"  
  
"Very well," they grinned. "We promise."  
  
Satisfied, the little girl led them further towards the Quidditch pitch. Devin turned to Darius with a grin, and whispered, "She didn't say anything about Fwooper feathers in her stockings..."


End file.
